March 24, 2008

I don't think being an addict means you had bad upbringing

This is a blog post started by keepitsimpleforme on the KCI Anti-Meth site, one of my favorite sites. Keepitsimpleforme's name is Susan, she's 40, female, from Loganville, GA. The KCI site is a great meth resource site for us normies struggling with a friend or family member in addiction, for addicts and for recovering addicts also. It is user-friendly, but as honest as it can be about the ugliness of the drug, so I keep it 'on my desktop' as an aid.

I Don't Think Being An Addict Means You Had Bad Upbringing
The other topic we were talking about -- treatment, etc. and why some people get better some don't. And, how some people are already screwed up and so they have a harder time with recovery. Well, it got me thinking about a very good friend of mine. She is a BAD alcoholic. I haven't spoken to her in months. I basically had to cut her off because it got to where she was calling my house drunk and wanting to come stay there (because her husband was kicking her out again and her parents won't let her there either). Or her husband was calling me to come get her becasue she was drunk again. Which I did a few times trying to "help" her. This girl was a cheerleader in high school. Beautiful girl. Very funny with a very fun loving personality. Basically everybody loved her. Her parents were the nicest people too. They both worked full time and had a very nice home. I spent alot of time there and we also went on family vacations together. No drugs, no fighting, no tension. Very loving grounded people. Well, my friend was a partier as we all were. But, for whatever reason --- she couldn't shake it. She lost custody of her kids. Was arrested many times for domestic violence and public drunkeness. Got 2 dui's within a 24 hour period --- WHILE running away from a halfway house no less. Drove her kids around drunk. Got caught on video camera stealing wine from an Eckerds. Terrible stuff. I don't understand. She was a very well adjusted individual. But, she liked to party. And, ultimately -- she was and is a severe alcoholic. I went to visit her in rehab and she told me she knew she'd never stop drinking. I thought --- but LOOK at your life! She said "I like my wine". I also have a cousin who was a major alcoholic/drug addict. She had 2 kids. They had to basically take care themselves because she'd get drunk or high and pass out. They are doing outstanding today. Both married with kids, no drinking, no drugs. Both graduated college. So, does it really matter whether or not someone is well adjusted or not? Or are some people just the unlucky ones who have this "thing" in them that compels them to drink/do drugs to the point of their own self destruction?
To continue with this post and read the comments, click here.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I first got clean I looked at my using with blinders on. I thought that I became an addict after I lost the power to stop using. In recovery I learned about symptoms of addict behavior. Thats when I started to take a closer look at my life. My life before drugs, that is.

Unlike many drug addicts I only used for roughly 1/6 of my life. But that is an example of looking at the differences, rather that the similarities.

As I took a closer look at my childhood and my teenage years (I started drinking & using when I turned 21) I realized that A-typical addict behavior was ever present in my life. Obsession and compulsion were a constant. I knew from a very young age that I was not normal. It never mattered what I had, I always needed more. I wanted whatever you had, and I wanted it now. Not wanted. Needed. Life always let me down. Nothing was ever good enough for me, nor would it ever be. Until I learned how to block out all rational thought. With narcotics.

Fast forward to today. I have been clean 1093 days today. Today is all I have. Recovery is not for the weak. I have learned that to make it through today I must rely on my friends in the program for strength. The people that are closest to me today are the addicts that I see at meetings regularly. Most of them have more clean time than me. I surround myself with people that have what I want. Serenity, strong recovery, goals, program, a sponsor, and a desire to stay clean. Because today is special. I am not responsible for my addiction, but I am responsible for my own recovery.
Sarahjoy

Patricia Loya said...

From my kid: "Recovery is not for the weak."

From my kid: "I surround myself with people that have what I want. Serenity, strong recovery, goals, program, a sponsor, and a desire to stay clean. Because today is special. I am not responsible for my addiction, but I am responsible for my own recovery."

Sarahjoy and so many others in recovery, keep at it, it is SO working.
Sarahjoy's Mom, Patricia