Not A Mouse Party By Patricia

I was married to an alcoholic. My father was an alcoholic (he eventually shot himself) and as is discussed in this blog, my daughter is a recovering addict. Back to the 'not a mouse party'. I didn't know my husband was an alcoholic. Other people did, first. The girlfriend on the phone would be alarmed that I would have to go check the husby who falls asleep in the bathtub, to make sure he hasn't drown. After his numerous refills of scotch (from me, at his request), he'd eventually always fall asleep and if I tried to remove the half-empty glass, he'd wake insisting on finishing it. He'd burn food, forgetting he'd started cooking. He'd usually not need food, he had his drink. My kid interventioned him herself by picking him up in her dooley one day (having gotton him a bed at a sober living house). At 5'2," maybe 100lbs. dripping wet, Sarahjoy holds her own and then some. She tells me she introduced him to the house manager and drove off telling him, "Sober up or lose your family. Sober up or lose your relationship with me." I still really didn't know even then that was an alcoholic. Timing. Timing is important. All these years later, now I remember him telling me that another resident at the sober living house was surprised that 'someone like my husby' was in a place like that (high-paying job, family who loved him, house, car, etc.) and that he 'better get his shit together' before he lost everything. But he didn't and after I finally left him, our two rental homes went into foreclosure, our home mortgage is $16,000 behind in payments and he seems to not be working. I now often use the principles from the AA twelve steps programs. To me they are spiritual, plain-sense concepts or beliefs that anybody could benefit from. When I left, I took clothes, my computer and one of the dogs, Christopher, then a puppy, and drove to New Mexico. Our two rental homes were located in Farmington and I'd learned enough to know that California was no longer an option for me, and New Mexico was affordable and an adventure. Since then I've gone back and gotton my artwork, so the dog and I are living in a studio apartment surrounded by my beautiful artwork, it really is nice. I will make it; it ain't a mouse party. These a real doings.